‘Jurassic Park 4′ Plotline Revealed

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Earlier this week, JoBlo exclusively released the concept of the next Jurassic Park film, currently scheduled for a 2015 release date. According to director Colin Trevorrow, this fourth follow-up to Steven Spielberg’s 1993 blockbuster will make you “feel like it’s the last day of 6th grade again.” After reading this brief testimonial from the site’s trusted and reliable source, we here at UTG happily agree with him:

“Jurassic Park 4, set in present day Isla Nublar, is now an actual theme park, as originally intended by John Hammond in the first film. It garners 10 million visitors per year and is completely safe – until it’s not. The park itself is described as very Sea World-esque and includes an area called the Isla Nublar Lagoon. That means underwater dino’s for the first time. No indication of what kind, but there’s concept art showing one of the aquatic dino’s, as part of a show, jumping out of the lagoon and eating a strung up great white shark like it was a fish for a dolphin at sea world.

As part of a show, you ask? That’s right, folks, this will feature “tamed” dino’s. In fact, our source indicated that the usually menacing Velociraptors (which will finally be muzzled, along with the T-Rex – until they’re not) will actually be used to help fight the threat, which begins in the form of a new dinosaur, not seen in any of the previous films (and not disclosed to us) shows to be much smarter than originally thought and is the main cause of havoc breaking out at the park.

So, to sum it all up, Jurassic Park 4 will take place back on Isla Nublar with a fully operational dinosaur theme park (I’m sure no expense was spared) that’s both prosperous and safe, until a new dinosaur figures out a way to wreak havoc, causing the use of the now tamed Velociraptors (and T-Rex? Unclear) as a means to fighting the threat.”

Though screenwriters Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver seem to have birthed a very promising plotline for this newest addition to the franchise, casting for the film has not yet begun, effectively quelling rumored appearances of Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Neill. Regardless, this return trip to Isla Nublar will surely be one to remember–in the words of the late geneticist Ray Arnold, “Hold on to your butts!”

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  • Emily Kimble emorelee admire l

    This aint the official plot retards its a rumor who the hell wrote this

  • Brian Lion

    Apparently a “retard” wrote it as you so kindly and sensitively pointed out in a very impressively constructed sentence sans any evidence that it was written by a human being.

  • Emily Kimble emorelee admire l

    Umm SHUT UP RETARDED YOU PIECE OF SHIT

  • Brian Lion

    You’re very sweet. Have a great day, and thanks for reading!

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  • Brian Lion

    I find it incredibly funny that you go around on blogs calling people “retarded teenagers” and tell people to kill themselves. How old are you exactly? Do you even understand how terrible you sound as a person? Is it really necessary for you to be so disrespectful and nasty to people you don’t know? You’re the worst kind of troll and if Karma is real, you’re losing points at an alarming rate.

    P.S. If you want to insult people, it tends to be more effective if they can make out what you’re saying. Let me guess…I’m RETARDED and I should KILL MYSELF, right?

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  • Emily’s Dad

    If I killed myself, it would start this cycle of hatred in my family. People would be angry and depressed. At first, they’d seek out help, but then the frustration would boil over. Since being horrible in real life is frowned upon, they’d probably take their hatred to the next place they could. Yes, you guessed it: online.

    So, no. I will not kill myself and allow more of you into the world.

    Love,
    Your Dad.

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  • Ranger Dan Parsons

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  • Ranger Dan Parsons

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