Movie: Axe Giant: The Wrath Of Paul Bunyan
Director: Gary Jones
Writer: Jeffrey Miller, Gary Jones, Jason Ancona
Studio: Kinetic Filmworks, P13 Entertainment
Paul Bunyan is out for blood and it is…mostly awful.
Creature flicks are an interesting genre of movies. Starting way back in the olden days of the original Godzilla and classics like Attack Of The Giant ______ and continuing into modern times mostly in the form of SyFy original movies like Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus or Ice Spiders. No one expects these movies to be good and that really allows for some fun movie watching. As long as you can immerse yourself into those worlds, creature flicks are great, so when I got Axe Giant: The Wrath Of Paul Bunyan to review I was quite excited.
I will start off with my actual review of the movie as a movie. Axe Giant is a terrible movie. The acting is about what you would expect from a Cinemax soft core porn (but with way less nakedness). You should look for Dan Haggerty, the original Grizzly Adams, as he has a small role in the film. The plot is completely ludicrous and superfluous. They took way too intricate of a route to get a group of teenagers into the woods to get killed off by a mutant wielding an axe. Kids go into the woods all the time unprovoked — giving them a backstory involving a second chance program to avoid jail time just took more time away from the killings.
If you are thinking “Oh, but I bet the killings are cool!” you are wrong. Most of them are CGI and lame. Actually, most of the movie is CGI’d or shot on a green screen and it is extremely obvious. Luckily, Paul Bunyan himself looks pretty alright; his makeup was better than some of the stuff in similar movies. Unfortunately the short time we see Babe The Blue Ox it looks faker than Farrah Abraham’s wholesome demeanor.
Even though the movie was so bad that does not mean I got no joy out of watching it. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you can truly lose yourself in a movie then you can escape into the world of Axe Giant and actually enjoy yourself. I spent a lot of time laughing at the pure preposterousness of what was appearing on screen. Plus, at the end of the day you do get to see a bunch of people hacked up with an axe or stomped to death by a giant and that is pretty damn awesome.
Review written by: Justin Proper