MOVIE REVIEW: Axe Giant: The Wrath Of Paul Bunyan

AGfeat

Movie: Axe Giant: The Wrath Of Paul Bunyan
Director: Gary Jones
Writer: Jeffrey Miller, Gary Jones, Jason Ancona
Studio: Kinetic Filmworks, P13 Entertainment

Paul Bunyan is out for blood and it is…mostly awful.

Creature flicks are an interesting genre of movies. Starting way back in the olden days of the original Godzilla and classics like Attack Of The Giant ______ and continuing into modern times mostly in the form of SyFy original movies like Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus or Ice Spiders. No one expects these movies to be good and that really allows for some fun movie watching. As long as you can immerse yourself into those worlds, creature flicks are great, so when I got Axe Giant: The Wrath Of Paul Bunyan to review I was quite excited. 

I will start off with my actual review of the movie as a movie. Axe Giant is a terrible movie. The acting is about what you would expect from a Cinemax soft core porn (but with way less nakedness). You should look for Dan Haggerty, the original Grizzly Adams, as he has a small role in the film. The plot is completely ludicrous and superfluous. They took way too intricate of a route to get a group of teenagers into the woods to get killed off by a mutant wielding an axe. Kids go into the woods all the time unprovoked — giving them a backstory involving a second chance program to avoid jail time just took more time away from the killings.

If you are thinking “Oh, but I bet the killings are cool!” you are wrong. Most of them are CGI and lame. Actually, most of the movie is CGI’d or shot on a green screen and it is extremely obvious. Luckily, Paul Bunyan himself looks pretty alright; his makeup was better than some of the stuff in similar movies. Unfortunately the short time we see Babe The Blue Ox it looks faker than Farrah Abraham’s wholesome demeanor.

Even though the movie was so bad that does not mean I got no joy out of watching it. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you can truly lose yourself in a movie then you can escape into the world of Axe Giant and actually enjoy yourself. I spent a lot of time laughing at the pure preposterousness of what was appearing on screen. Plus, at the end of the day you do get to see a bunch of people hacked up with an axe or stomped to death by a giant and that is pretty damn awesome.

Score: F

Review written by: Justin Proper

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  • kieron estrada

    Nice review, love the line “I will start off with my actual review of the movie as a movie. Axe Giant is a terrible movie.” I agree with your notes, and have yet to see the film, but strangely curious to watch. But I wonder at what point will any of these types of movies be actually “good” as opposed to preposterous? No doubt it’s tough to have all the ducks in place to create a good film. Continue your Reviews and when my movie is finished, I’d be honored to have you review it as well!!!

  • JOHN

    I’m a big fan of this classic and timeless thriller! The acting is superb and the graphics are very good. I hope I will get to show my Grandchildren this wonderful film as it could be inspirational to them. I was inspired by how hard the characters worked to defeat Paul Bunyan and save their friends. I do believe that this movie is life changing and could help many people by umm…. yeah? I must also say that the makeup on the creepy mutant guy was really good. It might just be my 13/20 vision but i think that i didn’t notice any greenscreen at all! I encourage many people to watch this film as i hope everyone will be as awed and inspired by this lovely film!! REPLY IF YOU AGREE/DISAGREE WITH THIS POST!!!

  • Julie

    John, I must say that this is a perfect review of this film. It sums up my thoughts EXACTLY. I showed my 5 year old it and he is now suffering from frequent nightmares. HOWEVER, I still would recommend this movie to anyone over the age of SIX.

  • Julie

    This profound,peculiar work of genius, this novelty,reverberates with hidden meanings and a questing intelligence.

  • Julie

    I’m sorry that this is my third comment, this is just me and my son’s favorite movie! It will leave you breathless, and then crawling back for more. We’ve never seen anything like this. I think this should be mandatory viewing for everyone. Our school system’s teachers to wake up, and realize that this is the answer to beating China.