FOR THE LOVE OF FILM: deadgirl

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For The Love Of Film is a weekly column from film nerd and lover of all movies Justin Proper. Sometimes you need some help to figure out how to enjoy movies, and we are here to help! No longer will you need to fear movie night because your friends have no taste in film. With this column you will be able to love even the worst gems to ever grace the silver screen.

It is the middle of February and that means love is in the air. Or at least it would be if love could survive the subzero temperatures of a midwest winter. For those that have a significant other it is a great time; for those that do not, it is a lonely nightmarish hellscape of being constantly reminded that you are single. Either way there is no avoiding romantic movies around Valentine’s Day, so I jumped on the holiday bandwagon and decided to do a special For The Love Of Film on a romantic movie that I enjoy, despite most people not liking it.

I will go ahead and admit that deadgirl does not seem like your typical romantic movie. In fact, it seems like pretty much the opposite of that. It is about a couple guys (JT and Rickie) who find a naked zombie chick in the basement of an abandoned insane asylum. Of course JT decides to do the most rational thing teenage outcasts can think of: tie up the zombie and fuck it. Rickie is very much against this (possible because he realizes that necrophilia/rape is not going to help him socially) and more or less bails on JT. Eventually JT recruits another guy (Wheeler) to come enjoy his dead fuck doll and things start to spin out of control. AFTER THE NEXT PICTURE THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 

“Wait, did he say necrophilic rape? What the fuck is that?”

So while this is all going down we get a side story about how Rickie has been in love with this girl JoAnn since he was 12, but she is dating the king jock douchecock of high school. Through a weird twist of events the jock guy ends up visiting the dead girl (who they call dead girl, duh) and he gets his dick bitten off. This causes JT to realize that he can make another zombie sex slave (his was beginning to decompose) if he gets the original one to bite someone else and turn them. Wheeler and JT go out and kidnap JoAnn to transform her and Rickie rushes in to save the day. Sort of. I mean, he tries to, fails, and the movie ends with Rickie and zombie JoAnn (now tied up in the insane asylum) sharing a very creepy moment. Boom, credits.

Nothing says “I love you” like forcing someone to become an undead sex toy.

I am willing to wager you already have the same complaints the critics did even if you did not see the movie. The subject matter is pretty messed up. Most people consider deadgirl to just be an exploitative shock movie that pushes boundaries for the sake of pushing boundaries.

Come on, they put lipstick on her! This is clearly a classy movie.

If you take the time to look past all the crazy zombie sex stuff there is a realistically stark romantic movie hidden underneath of deadgirl. Rickie tries to woo JoAnn a few times throughout the movie to no avail (because he is a creepy dude who always stares at her) and he even gets the shit kicked out of him for being so weird about it. Then in the end he tries to save the day and rescue her. He even goes so far to tell her that he loves her. Instead of reciprocating his love, however, JoAnn does what any normal person does when confronted by someone they find skeevy and weird: she says “Fuck you. Grow up.”.

Somehow this creature is the nicest girl in the movie.

Now pay attention. This is real. This is what happens when you act like an obsessed creep. She had every right to tell him to grow up, regardless of the fact that he was trying to save her life. I would even go so far as to say that JT’s relationship with Dead Girl was more healthy than Rickie’s obsession with JoAnn. At least JT knew exactly what it was. He did not care that she was a zombie, he just wanted to get his fuck on. And get his fuck on he indeed did. Over and over. God this movie was weird. I need a shower.

 

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