Reasonable Remakes: 2012 Remakes Reboots and Re-imaginings

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Under The Gun is continuing our efforts to bring you more original and engaging content with REASONABLE REMAKES. Written by film-nerd Justin Proper, this column aims to highlight Hollywood’s forgotten gems and spark debate.

You see, we’ve grown tired of Hollywood rehashing ideas we’re old enough to remember. Why remake something the majority of the planet still remembers and loves deeply when there are tons of films that deserve a chance to be as great as modern technology and skill can make them? If you agree, this column is for you.

Now that 2011 is in the books (I really don’t think anything major is going to happen in the next few days) we can start looking forward to 2012. It looks like 2012 is going to be a great year for movies. We’ve got The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers, Prometheus, and many other great films to anticipate. Even some of the remakes don’t look like total shit. Here is a brief summary of what to expect in 2012 in terms of remakes, reboots, and re-imaginings.

Contraband

This remake of the 2009 Icelandic action thriller stars Marky Mark as a retired criminal who has to do one last job to help his brother. This familiar plot is well suited to Wahlberg’s acting skills, and by that I mean he probably wont have to act very hard. At least Kate Beckinsale is playing his wife, so maybe we’ll get to see her without clothes on.

21 Jump Street

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum play cops sent to a high school as undercover agents in this movie based off of the late 80′s tv classic of the same name. The trailer looks funny enough, and this is your first chance to see “skinny Hill” in a movie. Hopefully seeing Nick Offerman as a police chief will make up for the lack of Richard Greico’s hair.

The Three Stooges

I don’t even want to talk about this one. Did you watch the trailer? God, it looks so awful. What could have been something so great (the original cast had Sean Penn and Jim Carrey) looks like the Jack and Jill of 2012. Sorry Stooge fans, I really don’t think anything is going to save this one.

Snow White And The Huntsman

This re-imagining of the classic Snow White fairy tale actually looks like it’s got a chance to be good. It focuses on the huntsman and his task to kill Snow White which leads to a revolution against the queen. This gritty story has a lot more teeth than the Disney cartoon we’re all so familiar with, and I’m actually looking forward to it. The only problem I have so far is that Snow White is being played by Kristen Stewart, so don’t expect it to win any Best Actress awards.

The Amazing Spider-Man

After Spider-Man 3: Spidey Goes Goth ruined the franchise Hollywood decided we needed a reboot. This iteration of the Spider-Man tale has Andrew Garfield starring as Peter Parker and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. If nothing else, I’m really happy to see that The Lizard might finally get a big screen appearance, plus the first person web slinging sequence featured in the trailer almost made my head explode.

Total Recall

Not much is known about this remake of the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger film. The story is cool enough, and I guess if it’s treated right it could actually be pretty cool. The thing that has my hopes up the most about this remake? The cast list includes Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston, and Jessica Biel. Hopefully Cranston will channel some of his performance of Walter White as Heisenberg, as he’ll be playing the main antagonist.

Dredd

After I mentioned Dredd in a previous Reasonable Remake it was quickly pointed out to me that this is not a direct remake of the terrible movie Judge Dredd but actually a reboot based on the source comics 2000 AD. This is the only thing that gives me any sort of hope of this movie being good, as the original material is a great subject for a movie, but they really fucked up that first movie, leaving a bad taste in my mouth for the character appearing on the big screen. I’m not expecting anything great from the reboot, but I’d love to be wrong.

Red Dawn 

Yep, that movie. The one with the kids vs the Russians. This remake will have North Korea as the enemies, but the plot will most likely remain more or less the same. The film has Thor (so at least girls will see it for some eye candy) and Josh Peck as the leads. It will probably suck, but I’m guessing a lot of people will see it, leading the way for even more 80′s classics to get destroyed. Thanks, Footloose, you really paved the way for this.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

After the massive success of The Lord Of The Rings series Peter Jackson got the green light to go ahead and make more awesome movies. Most of us saw (and loved) the cartoon tale of Bilbo Baggins so the nostalgia factor is high. As long as it’s as awesome as Jackson’s previous Tolkien movies this film should prove to be another fantasy masterpiece.

The Great Gatsby 

We all know the story. This classic novel has been made in to no less than 6 movie versions throughout history. This one stars Leo DiCaprio in a role he’s most comfortable with, a guy from the past. I’m sure there will be award talks for this movie and I’m also sure you’ll have to take your girlfriend to see it when it comes out.

That’s all I have for you so far. As more information comes out on these movies you can look for an update/feature on them. I’m also pretty confident that you can expect a full review on most of these as they are released. Let me know which ones you’re looking forward to the most in the comment section below, and make sure you follow UTG Film on twitter if you love getting updates on movie news and whatnot.

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  • Ian

    If I missed them all, I wouldn’t care!