Head of the UTG film department and mastermind behind Reasonable Remakes, Justin Proper has brought another new column. Ladies and gentleman, all us to introduce you to: How Bad Is It?
Movies are the number one source of entertainment according to a statistic I just made up. Everyone loves going to the movies. It’s a standard date night, and has helped millions of teens awkwardly hold hands in the dark. Movies are a great escape from reality, and help people relieve the stress of their lives. Unfortunately every once in a while a movie gets released that ruins the experience. This article is dedicated to those films. The movies that critics hate, and everyone talks about as being not worth seeing. I’m going to give these movies a chance, with the best possible circumstances to be enjoyed: by a guy who loves bad movies and is baked out of his mind. So sit back, light up a bowl, and enjoy as I tackle bad movies and let you know how bad it really is.
Jack and Jill is the newest Adam Sandler vehicle starring Sandler as Jack and his twin sister Jill. You may remember Sandler from such cinematic classics as I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry and You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. I know that’s 2 of his worse movies, but compared to Jack and Jill they look like Happy Gilmore. So the plot of Jack and Jill goes like this: Jack is a successful advertising guy in LA and has his twin sister over for Thanksgiving. Through a mixture of guilt and pathetic Jill convinces Jack to let her stay for longer and longer.
Al Pacino falls in love with Jill (and yes, he plays himself and is the best part of the movie) and now Jack has to have her stay even longer in LA because he wants to use Pacino in a commercial. On paper this sounds funny, but critics have disagreed. Reviews for Jack and Jill have said things like “impossible to recommend on any level whatsoever” and “the apocalypse starts here”. It sits at 3% on Rotten Tomatoes, clearly the movie has issues.
How Bad Is It?
Ok, but how bad is it really? I set out find find the truth, and hopefully find some humor in what was said to be the worst movie of the year. Once again, I must stress the fact that I gave this movie an honest shot at making me laugh. I was high enough to laugh so loud at the The Muppets trailer before it started that the guy behind me at the theater was laughing at how amused I was by puppets, so really, Jack and Jill had an honest shot.
It took less than 3 minutes for Jack and Jill to have a fart joke. It was all downhill from there. I wanted to laugh. I really really wanted to, but there just wasn’t anything funny happening. Adam Sandler in drag was not only unfunny, but annoying as hell after the first few minutes. The Jill voice was more harsh on the ears than Fran Drescher. The story moved along in such a way that I felt like I was watching a bad sitcom, but without the laugh track. The characters really felt awkward, and Jack’s family left a lot to be desired. A running gag was that his son likes to tape things to himself. Sure, little kids might do that, but it wasn’t funny at all. Jack and Jill is loaded with celebrity cameos, but they’re all wasted. None more so than Norm MacDonald’s. He had a great setup for a character (a creepy guy from Craigslist) but it played out without any of his comedic talents being used. Honestly the only time I related to any of the characters was when they walked out of a movie theater halfway through the movie. The only redeeming quality in the movie was Al Pacino. When he comes in at the end in full character as Don Quixote it is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately it couldn’t save the film.
So how bad was it? If The Ring movies were real and you actually died after seven days I would have rather watched that than Jack and Jill. At least they only have to regret their decision for a week, I have to live with the memory of Jack and Jill forever.