Under the Gun Review

Artist: Dot Dot Curve
Album: Till The Wheels Fall Off
Genre: Crunkcore
Label: Standby

Back in November, we brought you our views on this then little known group called Brokencyde. Since then, that review has become our most popular topic, but in addition, the group has exploded onto the music scene. Everywhere, much to my disapproval, people are becoming fans of this new genre they call “crunkcore.” In reality, it’s [generally] a bunch of kids from the suburbs who can’t sing or play instruments, but want to be perverse and scream to vocoder and Garageband loops. However, since it’s a craze, labels have jumped on to get whatever money they can out of this fad and Standby Records picked up Indiana native Dot Dot Curve [get it?] and will soon re-release his album, Till The Wheels Fall Off.

Now, normally we’d do an in depth look at the various tracks on the record, but not with this travesty to music. I thought between Brokencyde and Jeffree Star’s EPs that we’d heard the bottom of the musical barrel, but I was sooo wrong. To praise any aspect of Dot Dot Cuve would be the equivalent of spitting in John Lennon’s face. If this is the future of music may I please get off the bus now? Over the course of 13 tracks, our one man show [who goes by the name "Spanky"] takes simplistic Garageband and/or protool loops with vocoder and other voice modulation software to be as redundant, perverse, and all round offensive as possible. “Yea, I’m The Sex,” for example, finds Spanky referring to himself as, what else, the sex. In fact, he claims to be “the sex” about 75 times throughout the course of the record and that’s when you can decipher what is being said. Spanky has a nasty habit of adding completely pointless screams to nearly every 30 sec. interval of the record with lyrics that, if you can even make them out, make zero sense.

Now, I know what you’re thinking [that is, if you've never listened to this "act" before] and yes, we did give this album multiple tries. If one were to cruise my last.fm for the past few weeks, it may seem I’m quite the fan of at least the first 4 tracks on this record, but that would only be due to the fact that it’s the furthest I could get in a single sitting. Every track has a simplistic beat, discussion of his “freakish [aka typical Hot Topic shopping teen]” outfit and how he is either the best or one not to mess with or around. There’s not a single ounce of intelligent song writing or album structure to be found and yet he sold literally thousands of copies of this record before signing. Why?

There is no need to continue because I’ll only repeat and frustrate myself. Listen, using synth and vocoder can be done tastefully [Owl City for example], but this wave of “crunkcore” and kids getting big off of a record made with $300 or less of equipment from their local electronics department is nothing to base a record contract on. Dot Dot Curve ’s Til The Wheels Fall Off is quite possibly the most vile excuse for music I have ever come across and I can only hope that some omnipotent being has mercy on the souls of anyone who buys into this disaster.

*Score: 0/10*